


BLINDSPOT-BENT, SPINDLED-NOT BROKEN

by lila_luscious1



Category: Blindspot (TV), Rapata - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Adult Content, Ex-con, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friendship/Love, Implied Violence, Infidelity, Interracial Relationship, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Narcotics, Non-Explicit Sex, Other, Profanity, Sex Tape, committment, non consensual video taping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-05-13 09:07:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19248112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lila_luscious1/pseuds/lila_luscious1
Summary: Zapata and Reade have an “airing out” of some long-unspokentruths. Some of which each was curious about, had longed to ask,and could never bring themselves to broach the subject. This afternoonthey both realize the time has come for a RECKONING…





	1. BENT

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Repatablind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Repatablind/gifts), [Repata_stories](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Repata_stories/gifts), [Bacner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bacner/gifts), [blindsmarcy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindsmarcy/gifts), [Natteve](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natteve/gifts), [Madita1908](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madita1908/gifts), [Unseen_MrStanton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unseen_MrStanton/gifts), [wafci62](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafci62/gifts), [Jem4ever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jem4ever/gifts), [4QuietRyt3r](https://archiveofourown.org/users/4QuietRyt3r/gifts), [SAM_Reign](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SAM_Reign/gifts), [sramrakha22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sramrakha22/gifts), [Andoras_Ice_Prince](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andoras_Ice_Prince/gifts), [sanctuary_for_all](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/gifts), [JackBivouac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackBivouac/gifts), [quiethurricane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiethurricane/gifts), [adangerousbond](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adangerousbond/gifts), [LeesyLovesBathenaAndVicley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeesyLovesBathenaAndVicley/gifts), [julrenda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/julrenda/gifts).



BLINDSPOT-BENT, SPINDLED-NOT BROKEN

“Eddie…I swear to you, I’ll tell you EVERYTHING-leaving  
nothing out, keeping nothing back-but…but I need to process it first,  
reflect on it…I need my body AND my…MIND to heal, before I can  
give you all of the answers you ask for.”

“I haven’t pushed you, Tash. Not pushing you now...Sure, there’s lot  
I’ve wanted to know. I’ve kept it in, though, just waiting for you to come to  
it in your own time. If that time isn't now, I'll be here when it is."

"Can I have a day? One day, Reade. Do this for me baby: I wanna come clean  
and I will. I just-it's important that I settle my mind first, yeah?"

"Whatever you need."

[24 hours later]

"OK...for us to go forward, it’s necessary for you to know the whole story, instead  
of bits and pieces. Then you can understand why I’ve done what I’ve done; why  
I ran from you each time you tried to come close, even though I wanted NOTHING  
MORE IN THE WORLD than to accept the love you offered me-why I went on  
that suicide mission with Madeline…ALL of it."

One question in particular has been niggling at Reade’s mind ever since his lover  
resigned her FBI position and transferred to The Central Intelligence Agency…  
and became a direct report of the Deputy Director of that Agency, Jake Keaton.  
Keaton-rakishly handsome, in a position of power and influence-certainly a  
worthy romantic rival (for some.) He and Tasha have developed a very close  
working relationship, each trust the other implicitly, but is there, or had there  
been, more? Is Keaton MORE than a mentor, now or ever?

“What is it between you and Keaton? Why was he able to convince you to  
jump ship to CIA so easily?"

Nothing romantic, not ever, she assures him. No affair, no one-night stand-NADA  
sexually. Reade is satisfied with her answer, and indicates that she should continue.

[Reeling from the news of Reade’s engagement to Meg, Tasha Zapata wanders the rainy  
streets of New York, no destination in mind…during her aimless walk, she glances  
around to discover that she’s a few doors away from her boss, Jake Keaton’s,  
brownstone. It’s after midnight, and she’s conflicted about going to his door at this hour…  
earlier that day, he’d mentioned that his wife and daughter will be out of town for the  
weekend, and she desperately needs someone to talk to: Jane and Weller have  
left the city as well, and Paterson flew out right after her shift to put out some fires in  
Silicon Valley, at her offices there…leaving Keaton as her only option...

A voice from the past, the "Old Tasha", whispers from the back of her  
mind: Fuck it, Keaton's home by himself, it's obvious as hell he's down to  
fuck you, if you're open to it, so why not? Have a few cocktails, see where it goes? 

They are sitting together on his living room sofa, after she’s poured her heart  
out about the anguish she’s feeling concerning Reade’s news about his engagement…,  
Keaton has always been easy to talk to, and so when he slips an arm around her,  
shoulders to comfort her she doesn’t shrug it off. Each has had a few cocktails,,  
and Zapata, at least, is pleasantly buzzing. “Fuck, I need to get home,” she tells him,  
and he walks her to the door, where she gathers her handbag and jacket. She’s hugging  
him goodbye, and she starts to end the embrace, when, without warning, he leans in  
and KISSES HER...

]

Tasha’s lips engage with his for a few seconds, then she breaks free of his arms and  
takes a few steps back.

“What is it, Tasha?” Keaton wants to know.

“Besides the fact that you are MARRIED, and my SUPERVISOR, there’s the fact  
that I love Reade.”

"Ahhh...you show up here, after midnight, knowing that I'm here alone, and I've  
made it really obvious how bad I wanna get with you...I mean, c'mon! What are you,  
34? I'm 42, so can we cut the shit? Suddenly, you have a conscience?"

"I needed to talk to someone, Keaton, and yeah, maybe I did come here to push  
some boundaries...but that's the OLD ME...the me that acted without regard for  
the consequences, the chance taker, the risky behavior...that's not me anymore,  
and you're right: I'm dead wrong for setting expectations without knowing for sure  
I could go through with it, all the way. I apologize for that, Jake."

“Weren’t you “seeing” two Detectives at the same time a few years back; one at  
One Police Plaza, and the other in Brooklyn Narcotics? One was married, wasn’t he?  
Mendez? Mendoza?”

“You see? There-THAT’S how to talk me into bed-fling my past behavior back  
in my face. I can’t WAIT for you to fuck me now.”

Hot tears of humiliation sting Zapata's eyes as she yanks her jacket on, and angrily  
stomps toward the exit.

“SORRY, OK? That was fucked-up, and I take it back. I’m just…really attracted  
to you, and I guess I read too much into it, but after Reade asked Meg to marry him, I  
thought…well, that the way was clear for us now… you and me…maybe.”

“YOU ARE MARRIED. I’ve met your wife, AND your daughter. I’m not the  
same Woman I was then, when I was involved with those two Detectives at once…  
and I’m IN LOVE WITH READE…Get it?”

Zipping her jacket, she mutters angrily, tearfully to herself, 'I'm not that Woman anymore-  
I'M NOT"...

Mortified at his own behavior, Keaton is at once conciliatory. "Of course you aren't, Tasha.  
I'm the asshole in this scenario...not you...PLEASE-I'm sorry as hell-OK? It’s just that...  
my wife and I have hit a rough patch lately, more so than any time we’ve been together, and  
I'm not sure it will resolve itself this time. Reade’s ENGAGED; he’s off the board. I might  
not stay with Deb, so…FUCK! That’s not me, Tasha-what I said earlier, inferring that you’re  
some sort of slut. I DON’T THINK THAT, OK? It’s the Scotch...plus, I'm HORNY, and lonely;  
I miss my fam...shit..."

Placated and feeling his pain, Zapata offers, "You’re a really good man, Keaton. A great Boss,  
and a real “catch” for any Woman, normally. I…I wish that I could give you what you want,  
really I do; God knows I'm feeling down and not a little horny myself…but I CAN’T. I can’t.”

“Ok…I get it. Let’s, ah…let’s forget this ever happened, k? I apologize, a million times."

“K. ‘Bye, get some rest. And I walked here, so I’ll get an Uber…see you Monday.”)

“Not what you’re probably imagining…after you told me that  
you and Meg were engaged, I felt so...blown apart...I took a walk to  
clear my head, to try to make sense of things, and I somehow ended  
up outside his place...We had some cocktails, I told him about you and  
Meg, and how sad and low I was feeling because of it...we were really  
comfortable, with the fire and the liquor; he was giving off THAT VIBE;  
I'm 34 so I know when a Man's working his way up to 'making a move',  
and I admit I considered it; it's obvious he wanted me, and I was feeling...  
rejected, needing to forget, shit...I don't know...

She quickly interjects, 'NOT your fault, or Meg's...I'm the one who kept running  
away from you...I'M the one who couldn't overcome my demons...really, it's not  
one person's fault-just circumstances...anyways...

"I kinda thought, 'if he does ask for the pussy, why not?'. Then, just as  
suddenly, I just felt like I'd be betraying you somehow, that if Keaton an  
I did it, that would put the final stamp on any possibility of US-of you and I.  
I decided I had to get out of there, before things went too far. As I was getting  
my jacket and purse, I hugged him, you know, to say goodnight and thanks  
for listening, and he kissed me-and in that instant, as much as my body said  
YES,-at the the liquor, and my sadness and loneliness did-my brain shouted  
'HOL' UP!'..."

"I knew then that it's time for me to grow up, and break the patterns that always  
lead to self-destructive behavior for me. I didn't have to be a slave to my past,  
to keep punishing myself for the things I've done, and the things done to me-I DESERVE  
to LIVE...and to LOVE...and BE LOVED." The look that she gives him speaks volumes.  
He understands immediately, and his return gaze is full of validation-she is 100% correct,  
the look confirms. She deserves the chance to turn her life around-to live and love-and to  
be loved...by HIM... she continues:

"After that night in the bar, then later, with you, in your apartment…that was it for me."

"Thinking of me, of the possibility of US, is why you pumped the brakes?",  
Reade asked, not unsympathetically.

"In that, moment, yes. Really, it was long before that, after the cave  
exploded, when I was sure I’d lost you. I knew I was in love with you then,  
and TYPICAL ZAPATA, I almost blew that up too.”

Reade is quiet, his eyes locked on hers, and a tiny worm of worry  
insinuates Zapata’s innards…has she said TOO MUCH? Been TOO  
open and honest?

She attempts, and fails, to insert some humor into the situation:

“Now’s where you say,” Well, Thank God we battled back from all  
that and against the odds, we not only ended up together,  
we have two beautiful Twins…my life is SOOO GREAT, ZAPATA!,’  
she jokes in a nearly perfect imitation of her lover.

Reade, finally, to Zapata’s relief, deigns to speak. “Look, Tash  
. That’s all past. Even if you and Keaton HAD hooked-up,  
how can I hold that against you? 1, that was almost a year ago,  
and 2, I WAS engaged to another Woman. I can’t fault you.” 

His eyes say "I LOVE YOU"-her eyes echo the sentiment.

"But you only were with Meg because I, like a DUMB-ASS,  
kept putting you off, kept trying to deny how I really felt…Thank  
God you’re persistent, and who can BLAME you? Who  
keep trying, as often and as long as needed, to get with THIS,” indicating  
her own scrumptious curves.

Reade can't help but laugh. “Girl!...you don’t know how lucky  
you are that the babies are asleep…I’m down to ravish THAT  
whenever,wherever, as you well know."

A wicked grin lights-up the Latina’s beautiful face. “Ohhh….they  
Sleepin', LAWD-SLEEPIN’?...That’s your weak ass excuse: the babies  
SLEEPIN?’ ”, she teases in her best imitation of Gollum, from  
Lord Of The Rings. "They SLEEPIN', Precious;we musn't wake  
them, My Love.' "

Whooping with laughter, she takes off running, with Reade fast  
behind; she purposely allows herself to be caught, in the sitting  
room, and it’s not long before they couple feverishly, right there on  
the carpeted floor, not even bothering to fully undress...


	2. SPINDLED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tasha Zapata continues to reveal more truths about her past to a supportive and loving Edgar Reade
> 
>  
> 
> FYI: I've named Natasha's Mother Roxana Mireles  
> for purposes of this story

BLINDSPOT-BENT, SPINDLED-NOT BROKEN 2

[Tasha Zapata continues to reveal more truths about  
her past to a supportive and loving Edgar Reade]

The next morning:

“I’m going to tell you some more things about my past,  
things very few people have been trusted with knowing…  
if I’ve learned anything these past few years, it’s that  
it’s that secrets have COSTS, Baby…even they if stay hidden,  
we have them inside us, always…despite that, you deserve  
to know some truths about the Woman you share your bed with…  
un que me cuesta tu amor... Some of this you have a broad sketch of…  
my home-life, the way I pretty much had to raise my Brothers,  
AND myself, as an adolescent. Mi Abuela me ayudo mucho,  
tenia anos, y por la mayor parte, era MI responsabilidad…”

“My father…just a perverted CREEP. I’ll tell you more  
about that another time…it’s still pretty painful for me…  
my Mom…the best thing she ever did for my brothers and I  
was to abandon us…“I was just SO SCARED, all the time,  
Eddie. My Dad, who couldn’t keep his hands off of me…my Mom  
and her drunken rages…as soon as I could, I applied to NYPD.  
I needed to get what was left of my family into a better environment,  
which meant getting out of that neighborhood.”

Reade nods reassuringly; he too has had to overcome past issues  
in his rise to the top.

“My Patrol Sergeant took an ‘interest’ in me not long after my  
training phase began. He…kept after me, day and night…just like my Dad.”  
Unable to go on for the moment, shaken by the memory, Zapata reaches out to  
Reade, who takes her into his arms. He kisses her forehead,her lips;  
cooing endearments and consoling words-he wants her to know  
that no matter what, he is here…will REMAIN HERE…

When she’s able to continue, she does so in a low voice. “I ran out of ways  
to put him off, and he wore me down, after weeks and weeks of  
constant pressure-veiled threats to fuck with my career, side-track it so  
that I didn’t even make it past phase 1. I couldn’t GO BACK, all I could  
do was…give in.” Her dark eyes meet his, hold his gaze. “Too many people  
depended on me to MAKE IT, Eddie…I …had to…that pig made me  
SICK; him touching me, forcing me, using his power over me…GOD how I hated him!”

'The Precinct Commander, Captain Brewer, knew all about it, he and his cronies...  
they helped themselves to the most attractive trainees, married or not...he was worse  
than Sarge in many ways: brutal, didn't have a problem with roughing you up if  
you told him no...the hypocritical Racist picked out only Trainees of color, to top it  
off, yet couldn't get enough us...She looks into his eyes, meaningfully...of ME."

Ed’s reassuring kiss, a gentle buss, his gentle stroking of her back, is enough to  
give her the strength to continue her narrative. Cuddled in her man’s strong  
arms, Zapata relaxes for a bit, and is suffused with a sense of peace and serenity.

The telling of this sordid history has brought memories flooding back, and  
with them, a sense of panic that any part of these shameful episodes might send  
Reade racing for the nearest exit. That panic is no more; she believes him, with  
her whole heart, that NOTHING CAN EVER MAKE HIM LEAVE…  
A pause, a deep breath, then she goes on. “I’d stopped taking birth control  
a few weeks prior, you know, to give my body a break from the  
hormones, and all I could do is pray that this Hijo de La Chingada didn’t  
ooze a baby into me…and…”, she shudders at the memory, “per the  
Legendary Zapata family Luck, I DID get pregnant…TWICE. I aborted both.”  
Another deep breath.

“My partner, Andy, finally put a stop to it. Sarge is stumbling out of a  
hooker dive one night; is shot by an unknown perp/perps, DOA at the  
scene. Andy admitted to me later that he paid to have it done.He couldn’t  
just stand by and watch me kill myself, little by little, everyday- drunk a lot  
of the time, gambling like a drunk sailor, inappropriate relationships…  
and the fucking CRUSHING STRESS all because Sergeant Tiny Dick That  
WOULDN'T STAY HARD had to blackmail Women to get some pussy...

With Sarge out of my life, and Brewer bored of me, I was able to pour  
myself into the job, get some rank, start getting noticed...when Andy was killed,  
I slid back into that old behavior. Grief, I suppose. Alcohol abuse, some narcotics. For awhile, after WE got pregnant,  
I was sure that my past behavior might have affected the Twins health. Thank God it  
didn’t....I swear Reade, I would JUST DIE-I'm as serious right now as I can be- I'D DIE."

[From nowhere: that familiar, booze-slurred voice of Mother chimes in; never  
with an encouraging word, or 'Te Amo, Hijita.'...NOT Roxana Mireles...as always,  
that snarky, mean voice focuses on Tasha's DEFECTS, real and imagined....'Found  
yourself a Man of Your own, huh, Puta...'bout time, insteada tryna always steal mines.

Before Reade, that put-down laden monologue likely would have plunged Tasha into  
a debilitating depression: BEFORE READE...her Mother's bullshit accusations and  
illogical, booze-and drug-fueled rants have no power over her now: AFTER READE...]

[Tasha re-counts some things Reade is already aware of: her rise to Detective, her recruitment to the FBI by Weller...then]:

“Then…YOU. From the time we met in Academy, remember how we clicked right away?  
Since then, your friendship, your support, your LOVE…made me want to BE BETTER,  
DO BETTER. After...when I knew I loved you, I just…I was always terrified that you  
wouldn’t want me, once you knew ALL OF ME…the heart of me…”

"It explains a lot, fills in some blanks...I understand why you couldn't comfortably confide  
the majority of this to anyone-U unerstand now-you were trapped in a living hell almost  
from the start...but you know, had you not gone through those things, we probably would  
not be here right now, you know?

Gently as she can, pulls away from him a bit, just far enough to tug  
her sweater up and off. Her dark, luminous eyes lock themselves  
on his, and his breath quickens as he drinks in this VISION; this  
Latina Goddess of his…she guides his hands to her full breasts, cradled  
in a lacy black bra, smirking through a veil of dark brown hair.

“I’m so proud to be your Woman, so proud to be the Mother of your children,”  
she whispers huskily, her faint Spanish accent strengthening slightly.

“Please say you still want me; I promise to spend the rest of my life  
proving I’m worthy of you, of our babies.”

Her man flashes that patented “Edgar Reade” smile he’s famous for.  
“Please, Reina…NO WAY I’m leaving THESE (a gentle squeeze of the lovely  
breasts cupped in his hands), or THIS (he reaches around to deliver a playful slap to  
Zapata’s substantial rump); FUCK THAT!”

Zapata leans in, and just before their lips engage, she giggles, “MY MAN!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPANISH TRANSLATION
> 
> Aun que me cuesta tu amor:  
> Even if it bcosts me your love
> 
> Hijo de La Chingada: Son Of a Whore  
> Mi Abuela me ayudo mucho, pero no podia  
> todo el tiempo, y por la mayor parte, era MI responsabilidad…”
> 
> My Grandmother helped us so much, but she couldn't always, so  
> for the main part, it was MY responsibility
> 
> Te Amo, Hijita: I love you my Darling Daughter


	3. NEVER BREAK

"Those things that you told me don't change a thing about how  
I feel about you. Not one iota. Each of us-Me, you, every person,  
is a product of our environment. Why you spent all of those years  
faulting yourself for circumstances outside your control, I'll never  
know. I can tell you that I'm in no position to judge, except to say that  
I know you, and I know what type of person you are. As long as that  
shit-the alcohol abuse, the narcotics-stay in the past, then I have no doubts  
about our future together. We have to try...don't we?

"Yes...I want that. I want that more than anything. I realize that all of the trials  
in my life: the hurt, the pain and abuse, both by others, and by MYSELF, were  
necessary to bring me this place, this "now"...here with you. I have just ONE  
question; you've told me already, and I don't not believe you, but Eddie  
...Men have been lying to me, and using me, and abusing me for a long, long  
time...over-coming that trauma has been a process-a very, VERY  
exhausting battle that I'm still fighting.

There will be times that I 'flashback'; that I re-live some of those events, no  
matter how I try not to. PROMISE that none of that will prevent us from  
being the couple that I know that we can be. PROMISE that no matter how  
I try to wreck us, that you won't let me. I'm YOUR Woman, and you are MY  
Man. PROMISE that you will never let go of that. PROMISE."

Reade is steadfast. "I will never let any of what you listed come between us. I  
will stand with you and fight against those demons, the two of us-YOU and I.  
You ARE MY Woman. I AM your Man. That's how it is, how it will always be.  
We can do it. We WILL DO IT. Right? And YES. I PROMISE."

"Right. Yes."


	4. NEVER BREAK 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patterson comes to visit Zapata one   
> afternoon: her friend needs her, and she  
> will be there for her...they discuss some  
> of the earlier details Zapata had provided  
> Reade, and then Tasha mistakes Patterson's   
> reticence to interrupt as nonchalance re  
> her life 's struggles...

"You don't GET IT, Patterson! YOUR DAD is BILL NYE, THE FUCKING  
SCIENCE GUY! MINE is ASSHOLE R ZAPATA THE THIRD-the R  
stands for RAPIST! MY MOM is DRUNK BITCH LA PUTA-You don't have the  
faintest, most MINUTE idea of what it's been like for me-NONE OF YOU DO!  
Reade doesn't know what he's getting into-he THINKS he does, but he DON' T! I'm  
FUCKED UP-BROKEN!", the distraught Latina screams at full volume!

Patterson shouts back: "And WHAT?! That's supposed to make me give up on you?  
Huh? FUCK YOU! I didn't give up during all of the other shit you've pulled, and I won't now!  
I NEVER WILL...you're fucking INSULTING ME, and I don't like that shit!?"

Chastened, Zapata attempts to diffuse the situation using humor..."OK, I get you, but you better  
step the fuck back-you know you can't 'whup' me!"

"I MIGHT be able to...my adrenaline is spiked, right now!", The Blonde half-concedes.  
"OK!-Sorry...but I'm through with you dumping on yourself and using your past to excuse  
current behavior. Please, please PLEASE-leave that negative shit in the past-you have US,  
you have Reade-"

-"DON'T SAY IT!", Zapata breaks in.

-"As I was _saying_ (and, soto voce: unless you fuck THAT up): I'm KIDDING! Don't  
hit me!...anyway, you have have LOVE, and SUPPORT, and people to lean on when things get  
to be too much. USE US."

As quickly and as hot as their anger had burned just minutes ago, the two have dialed emotions back  
far enough so that they can discuss issues more normally.

Arching an eyebrow, Zapata says, archly, "You MEAN THAT?", and before Patterson can move,  
she reaches out and flicks an index finger against the area on her blouse where the Blonde's  
nipple would be.

"I'd watch that, if I were, you...you can't handle this pussy, Catholic School."

"Ya TRIPPIN', Gadgets...I'd have you stalking me morning, noon, and night, including weekends."

Patterson has 'jokes': "And HOLIDAYS, as well?"

"You can have Holidays, off."

"C'mere, you Bitch," Patterson says, suddenly, tearing up, and the two Women hug each other tight.

"You are _MY HEART,_ my best friend EVER, and you know this," the technical wizard  
continues. no matter what. Yeah?"

" 'Course...yeah", repeats Tasha, her face pressed tight against her fiend's blonde locks.


	5. LEXOR ROY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At Paterson's condo, Tasha Zapata confesses a dark secret  
> that might threaten her career, and any future she hopes to have   
> with Reade

"You still have that 'I wanna talk about something but I dread bringing it up' look, Zapata-C'mon, give  
IT UP, or do I have to take it?, Patterson jokes.

Zapata vacillates, at first, then relents. "We already established you can't WHUP, Bitch, so  
back back...I'm not warning you again! Then more seriously: Yeah. There's one thing-  
but it stays here for now, yeah?"

Once Paterson nods her assent, the Latina continues: "During that eighteen months or so, when I went  
CIA and you fluttered off to Wizardville, I, ah...I was involved with an MMA fighter-Lexor Roy."

"FIRST-I don't call it 'fluttering off to Wizardville'; I prefer 'revitalized and re-energized the entire on-line  
gaming industry', but going forward: I've heard of him, HUGE BROTHER, or I guess he's mixed race?...  
ranked fairly high in the world rankings, I seem to remember...what are you: 5 foot four, 125 pounds?" Then  
in a quite passable approximation of rapper LoveRance, Patterson parodies the song made famous by that  
artist: 'I beat the pussy up, up, up, up, up, up up, up...'Zapata is not amused, and Patterson stops abruptly,  
at once solicitous of her friend's discomfort. "SORRY-too soon?"

"Can I continue?"

"I'm JUST SAYIN'! He must have been a LOAD to handle!"

"ANYway...it was a casual type thing, just keepin the itch scratched, more than anything...he was always a little volatile,  
you know: unpredictable, that bad boy who you never know what he might do? That, on top of steroids, and alcohol, and  
just...being LEX, was a toxic mix, which I kinda knew, and figured I could get out whenever. Well, I waited too long...18  
months too long, it seems."

"O, TASH..."

"It's my own fault, I knew the day was coming, and it DID...see, one day I didn't bring a beer quickly enough, and he attacked  
me-like I was an opponent in the ring...it happens my neighbors at the time were a US Marshal and an NYPD SWAT Operator ,  
else I'd have sustained more damage than a three week stay in the hospital (OH, GOD!, Paterson groans). He was sent up for  
two and a half to five, and I thought, OK, that's that; you know, when will I learn? Then I rejoined you Guys, and Reade and  
I finally have ourselves straightened out...and...he showed up outside our building as I was getting home the other night.

"AHHH-HUH?" How'd he even find you? Did he serve his full bit?! And WHY THE FUCK didn't corrections advise you that he's out?"

"OK, OK...slow down! He hired a P.I. to track me down, I have no idea, and I have no idea. I'm a victim of domestic abuse, and so  
I should have been advised, but I wasn't...that's not the worst part, though..there's a video, P...a sex tape."

"OH, HELL NO!?-Tasha!-Come ON!?

"He must have had me on camera without me knowing; you know that I have better sense than THAT...and he's threatening to go  
public."

"How bad?"

"Me, him...and another MMA guy: HAMMERLOCK...it's ahhh...it's-fucked up Paterson. If it gets out, I'm finished in Federal law enforcement;  
CIA was and might still be looking into Eastern European ties to MMA, but worst than anything: READE. He can never know about this.  
He can NEVER see that video-I'LL DIE, Paterson-I WILL DIE." By now, Tasha Zapata is nearly in tears.

"HEY-we'll figure something out. You and me, yeah? If we have to hack his shit, whatever-I PROMISE YOU, that video will not be published, not  
on my watch." They hug, and Paterson comforts her friend like a forlorn child..."I know, I know; it'll be alright...I got your back, I always got your  
back...c'mon-let's have some wine, think about something else for awhile. Put it on me-I'll come up with a plan."

**Author's Note:**

> Readers: I'm still honing my skills as a writer, and so this  
> offering might be a bit disjointed in spots ( or in whole.)  
> Please bear with me, and feel free to critique this piece so  
> that I may improve as an author. Thanks!


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